Is your hair keeping you single?

Ok ladies wait don’t stone me just yet , I know hair is a touchy subject for some but just hear me out, I swear I have a point.

I recently posted the picture above of a young lady with two distinct looks: in photo A she is wearing a weave , colored in what seems to be a light brown or dark blonde shade along with colored contacts, not quite sure if full make up is present here but I see atleast a bit of eyeliner used. Now in pic B the same woman decided to wear her natural hair out, dark brown/ black in color looks to be a twist out along with the same grey colored contacts and eyeliner along with a bold colored lipstick.

The meme stated:

Same girl: But hair A would attract a different than to B.

I then reposted this meme or my various social media outlets to garner some feedback from both men and women. Is this true? Does our mane of glory dictate the type of man we will attract? I took it a step further to ask “Could our hair also dictate how we are approached and treated by men?” Now the responses that I read from the men were PROFOUND, EYE OPENING And SCARY. We all know men are visual creatures but just how much they based visual perception on their course of action is what we did NOT know.

A few of the men that decided to share their own personal thoughts felt as though “B” presented herself more of the “wife/ mother” type of woman, a woman they could build with and take home to their parents. A woman that will twirl about in her pleated midi length skirts with fresh polished pearls adorning her neck. Some also felt that “B” was the safe choice, implying that they dont have to worry about what B is doing or if B is cheating etc. B is the perfect visual of the black mans prototypical wife.

Now on the other hand A didn’t quite receive the same positive sentiments as did B. ” A is more sexual attraction” , ” A seems to be more EASIER” , “A is who you have fun with but can’t take seriously.” So A in a nutshells if to be fucked sucked and then ducked.
Along with a few other thoughts: A can’t be trusted, B deserved more respect than A and so on. ALL THIS WAS BASED ON THIS VISUAL REPRESENTATION WITH THE MAJOR DIFFERENCE BEING HAIR.

So the question is asked “Is your hair preventing you from attracting the right Men?” “Right” is definitely a subject term defined in the eye of the seeker BUT my point is …are we holding back our own happiness because we aren’t attracting the guys that we want? It like a horrifying snowball effect of how the stereotypes of both A and B took on a life form of its own in a poorly played game of connect the dots. Example:

B is more natural therefore B must be confident. B looks like she would Be an excellent wife and mother ( without Ever seeing B look at a child ) B looks like she will stay out of trouble, is trustworthy and loyal therefore I will be safe with B (have we detected the possible insecurities of the men that think this?)

Second example:
A wears a weave therefore A is insecure, A isn’t confident without the weave and the extras. A doesn’t look trustworthy and might be a gold digger. A just isn’t as respectable as B. A is for the fun and cannot be taken seriously. You can’t take A home to Momma.

All these assumptions meanwhile B could be secretly having threesomes playing a game called fill the holes by two men named Dink and Marco. My point is this … Do you bother to open the book to read its contents or are you that confident in your 3rd eye of prediction?

If you put the effort in to look nice you try too hard. If you look like you put no effort into your look you didn’t try hard enough. (dramatic scream)

Are BUNDLES Blocking your BLESSINGS? Are EXTENSIONS extending your singlehood? Dammit is your MANE keeping you MANLESS?

Another man commented “I like natural because it is a disconnect in intimacy if I cannot touch my woman’s hair”…. AH HA FINALLY and emotional correlation as to why hair could be an important factor. Now I don’t know too many women that don’t appreciate and good tug and pull during the throes of passion but I cannot imagine a woman telling her man “babe don’t pull, play, caress, touch, fondle my hair.” Granted with the evolution of weaves to wigs and lacefronts the insecurities of an unsecured wig is understandable to say the least .

Now we all have seen countless movies where the the good wholesome regular looking wife gets cheated on with the bombshell dolled up woman right? Men are choosing B but yet cheat and sometimes leave their wives for A .
Men you deserve your total package as well as do women so if you know you want a woman that has those amazing mother and wife qualities , looks good , has killer sex appeal wait for it. Hell if you like a 30 inch weave go for it! Do not settle for presumed safety. Let’s also not make woman A an automatic side piece action because you can’t handle what her looks and confidence does to your insecurities (OOPS)

So in summary, as our parents has taught us growing up “Do not judge a book by its cover” open the book, skim through a few pages before deciding it’s a No-Go.

Ladies rock your weaves, rock your fros and you rock it with confidence, you rock it with grace, you rock it and let your inner self continue to shine through. It is our Spirit and energy that will attract our SOULMATE. It is our Aura that will pull a man to you to find out exactly who you are because a Crown can sit on top of a weave AND a Afro. ❤️

Hey (hey)
I am not my hair
I am not this skin
I am not your expectations, no (hey)
I am not my hair
I am not this skin
I am the soul that lives within

– India Arie “I am not my hair” 2006

4 thoughts on “Is your hair keeping you single?

  1. Wow, I can honestly agree on both sides to a point. I’ve had relaxed/straightened hair since I was young, maybe 11 or 12, & I’ve been natural for almost 4 years now. I am 24. When I was younger, the extensions, relaxers, blowouts made me feel older, more mature, sexier. To me it felt as though it would give the appearance of wealth, or you’d be held to a higher standard than the girl w/ braids or an afro puff. The guys would like it, claim it was ‘sexy’ or ‘exotic’. It was nice, cute, & easier, shit sometimes I wish I could go back to my bangs or bob when I watch hair tutorials. But looking back I don’t remember seeing ME in the mirror. I felt like it was more of what society wanted me to look like or what was ‘normal’. Like I was just chasing the next trend, never satisfied for too long w/ my look. I got older I wanted to be more in tune w/ me & with my culture & decided to go natural. I feel more confident w/ the naps & curls. And it shows. I feel like going natural really forced me to look at the real me & love what I see. Unknowingly it was the start of my lifestyle change. Compared to the types of men I would attract when I was relaxed to now when I’m natural, it seems like it filters out alot of lame, immature dudes I would have nothing in common with & therefore wouldn’t be interested in. Maybe some are intimidated, or maybe natural chicks just aren’t their type but whatever voodoo my hair has pulled is working in my favor. I’m finding (& have found) what my heart genuinely craves, not the bullshit society tries to brainwash us with.

    Now I’m not trying to knock any woman who wears weaves, wigs, makeup, etc. We all have our likes & preferences & we are allowed to dress & look the way we damn well please. This is just my perspective.

    Much love


  2. This is such an interesting topic. I have had soooooooooo many issues with men thinking they get to dictate what a woman does. Men that go out of their way to compliment a woman without makeup and in the same breath disrespecting a woman with makeup. ” you are so beautiful. You don’t need all that makeup to look beautiful”…… Nigga did you think that was a compliment. Here is the thing. If you like my natural… GREAT. If you don’t…. That’s cool too. And the same goes for my weave. If a guy truly likes you, I have to believe none of this really matters. I’m so glad I’ve finally (and I mean finally…. I use to be a walking mess of insecurity) learned to love myself and own my damn self.
    Definitely enjoyed the read. I plan to continue to flourish with my twist out and my bundles. BECAUSE We Can!!!!


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