FINANCES, FINANCES, FINANCES…
This is such a sensitive topic especially in the African-American community ..one that requires delicate language in order to not ruffle any feathers right? WRONG! We need to talk about finances because it seems to be in issue amongst not only the marital community but ESPECIALLY within the dating community. Somewhere down the line women have been convinced and conditioned to believe that wanting a man with some financial stability or at the very least having a financial requirement in a man is somehow a “Golddigger”. I blame men for this LOL….When did this happen?
Why is it ok for us to want mental stability, emotional stability, spiritual stability, sexual stability BUT for some reason financial stability automatically is honed in on as a negative AND as a motive driven requirement.
If I see one more Facebook discussion on who pays for what, who pays for date number one, who pays the bills in the home … I WILL LOSE MY SHIT!
So let me get this straight; men no longer want to pay for first dates right?Now we’re doing pre-date dates, “meet and greets” or “Dutch dates” in order to protect the minuscule amount of money/assets that this man perceivably has right? GROW A PAIR FELLAS 🙄. Perhaps if we focus on dating for quality and not quantity you wouldn’t have to penny pinch paying for dates if you just go on dates with women that you were being intentional with, OOPS. No one is telling you to go out all for 5, 6, 7 dates a week spending XYZ amount of dollars 💸and now when it comes to a SISTAH who is intentional in every movement HER life now she gets a pre-date date? Let’s just be completely fucking honest here, there is nothing that makes a vagina more dryer than a man that acts broke, a man who acts like we are after his five figure or low six-figure income. NEWSFLASH MEN a lot of black women are making a lot of money, a lot of black women are successful in their own rights so she wants to meet someone on her level. She doesn’t need to be taken care of but I guarantee it’s sexy as hell if a man wants to take care of her. WHEWWW (moisture alert) .
No I’m not saying all women are the same I do understand there are golddiggers out there and there are women out there looking for a come up BUT you cannot treat every single woman the same. Again this goes back to quality vs quantity and INTENTIONAL DATING.
Let me talk to my sistas for a quick min… y’all may not like this but listen up…. Ladies it’s OK to want a man who makes good money, it’s OK to want a man who would like to provide for his family, you don’t have to be ashamed to want that so stop letting people shame you for that desire . IN THE SAME BREATHE….ladies also be realistic with your expectations ESPECIALLY with the type of men you date (ducks and takes cover) hear me out… I don’t know what man can provide for his whole family on a $50,000 salary especially the lifestyle you may want, so trust and believe your income will be factored in somehow. We cant expect a man making $50,000 a year to pay all the bills while you pay zero, where would your money be going? This is the ongoing debate that I see a lot on social media: that a woman expects men to pay all the bills and she never really States where her money will be going BUT we atleast know she expects the man to pay all the bills. Now sis… sis… sis…SIS… The man you’re dating makes $50,000 …after taxes its probably around $35,000 right? What bills and what household is he taking care of by himself? We have rich mentalities but in a working class environment🥴🥴… it doesn’t go together. So in turn you will be also financially supporting your household right along with Mr. 50K because that’s who YOU chose to date and that’s OK.
FELLAS your turn step up to the plate, grab a seat, get comfortable pour you a glass of Jamison or Hennessy : whatever your drink of choice is because I’m a keep it completely 100 with you.
I feel like I have to talk to you like I’m a man myself so here it goes: ACTING broke, pre-date dates, Dutch dates and broke talk will not get you the Coochie cat that you desire. We’re not gonna act naïve that we don’t know one of the main goals with dating a woman is to get some sex and maybe sex on a regular basis now do you really think that you’re going to get that sex that you seek by asking this successful, intentional woman on a Dutch date? SIR she can take herself out to eat,
In fact many successful women would dine alone to not be bothered but hell she trying to give you a chance… don’t ruin it !
All in all I think we can wrap up this conversation by saying yes finances is important in the dating phase and in the marriage phase. More importantly make sure you are equally yoked with the person that you want to plan a future with. It’s important to make sure you believe in the same financial set up so there is no shockers once a ring is put on the finger. Date someone that agrees with your views on finances and in turn we don’t have to have this constant battle amongst us of who pays for what, when and how.❤️